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Hitting a bong in an alley outside my friend's house. No sooner do I take a rip then Johnny Law himself rolls up. The officer puts the window down and says "Smells like good shit. Stay out of trouble, boys." With that he drove he away. Only in California.
So I was smoking weed in the kitchen when I heard a gun shot! I nearly jumped out of my skin and the bong went flying across the room, smashing into a million pieces when it hit the wall. Turns out it was the toaster, which I had put on 2 minutes ago.
watched one of my friends take an extraordinary amount of LSD. 30 minutes later I watched him sprint naked into the most popular bar downtown completely naked and in another reality. 10 minutes 12 cops and after closing down main street he dissapeared into the night. He reapeared 2 days later DAMN!
I was playing pool with a mate after taking mushrooms in Amsterdam. I could see a cat on the table knocking the balls around but I didn't want everyone to think I was fucked so I said nothing. The next day they were all laughing at us because they thought neither of us had seen the fucking thing!
Me and a buddy got picked up by the cops for being drunk and generally acting like cunts 1 night. In the back of the car my mate says "I know this isnt the best time to ask, but how do you put on the siren?". The cops just paused, looked at each other and said "fuck it". Droped us both home. Win!
I was smoking with a friend near a busy street. Suddenly, a guy dressed as Gandalf ran into traffic and yelled "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" in the middle of the road, slammed his staff into the ground, ran to us, stole our spliff, then disappeared running down an alley. We were too stunned to even be mad!
I had taken a lot one night and I was up on the dance floor. I had my arms in the air and closed my eyes for what felt like a minute. I opened them and I was in the bathroom, with security banging on the door because the place was closed. I still don't know if I blacked out or imagined the dancing.
I reached for my bong and knocked it off the table. I swear I seen it fall in slow motion. When it smashed I actually dropped to the floor to try help it and then start crying because it was gone. Your getting the angels high now buddy.
the other day i put a pizza in the oven. i was so hungry i forgot about the pizza, got in my car and drove to to the drive thru. one the way home i remembered...i raced home to a black pizza. good thing i had a spicy chicken sandwich
Last night after a few too many drinks, I drunk dialled an ex to tell her what I really thought of her - the topics I covered ranged from how bad her blowjobs were to how I had more sex dreams about her mam than her. Turns out I dialled her house number instead of her mobile. Her dad answered.
Chilling in my treehouse smoking 3 blunts with friends. Next thing i know, police pull up. Immediately, we pull up the rope ladder. They repeatedly tell us to come down, and even try climbing up. We finish smoking the blunt, calmly jump down, and get searched. They find nothing and go away. win.
While being driven drunk home by my sober wife I found a blue toy light in the car. Thinking it was a great idea I held up my wallet and the light to the window telling the car beside me to pull over. It was a cop car.
Drank a lot one night and I had to get the train home. Sitting on the train feeling very smug that I not only managed to buy a ticket but I also smuggled on a burger, chips and a can of coke, I started to dose off. I woke up 4 hours later on a packed commuter train and someone had stole my food
Got so drunk I passed out in the shower bollock naked. I was found by my dad's new girlfriend as she went to get showered before going to work. She now keeps saying that me and my dad have 'so many physical similarities'.
Very drunk one night I thought I was the karate kid despite never having take karate in my life and in my drunken haze I thought I could crack a board by headbutting it and shouting wax on wax off. Turns out I actually cannot.
I was really drunk at my friends place and we were smoking a blunt while eating pretzel sticks... got the two mixed up and took a bite out of the lit end of the blunt. my mouth still hurts from the burns.
After a night on the lash with the lads I started a new drunken hobby: Stabbing Fruit. I would come home to the folks house, wasted, and stab all the apples in the fruit bowl. This has been going on for years. Drunken Me has some strange ideas about what a good hobby is.
I lost my keys one drunken night and decided to go round back and get in through a window. Turns out, the back of the houses all look quite similar and I broke into my next door neighbors house and landed in their daughters bed! Thankfully she was not there and they recognized me and took me home..
last year on probation my dumb ass decided to go to a party. once there i proceded to get extremely hammered and black out. apparently later that night the cops showed up and i decided to hide in the attic. I fell through the celling. the cops agreed to let me go as long as i payed for damages. yah?